Now that I wear the One Ring, I've come to see the value of communication. Honest, open, active communication. I've learned the hard way that not wanting to talk is fine, but not saying out loud, "I don't want to talk right now" is not fine. Sooo not fine. It took a few lumps and bumps on my thick skull before the message got through, but I get it. I am not a silent partner in this partnership.
That being said, it still amazes me how differently men and women define communication. I took me a while to get used to it mainly because of the amount of questions involved. Men rarely explain themselves to each other. For good or for ill, we just don't feel the need. Say I'm watching television with a guy and something makes him laugh. If I ask him, "Why did you laugh just now?" he's going to tell me one thing and one thing only: "Because it was funny." Yes, but why was it funny? Why did you find it funny? Why? Why? Why? At this point, I will get one of three responses:
1. "I don't know, I just did."
2. "Who cares? I just did."
3. "Do I have to kick your ass?"
End of conversation.
I know that my wife asks me questions in order to know me, to share experiences, and to know that I know myself. I cherish the fact she wants to do that. It just makes me wonder why guys don't care about that stuff. I have a friend I have known just about all my life. I consider him my brother and I regard his family as my family. But I don't fucking care why he does the things he does. I just want to be there when he does them or hear him tell stories about them if I wasn't. Either way, I'll probably end up laughing my ass off.
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8 comments:
yeah. it's true. we all have a lot to learn. good on you though. i never ask why you think something is funny. does that mean i'm a man?
Yas's Indian name is Mannotaman-Woman. Men don't ask a lot of questions because you know the answers already. You just don't know how you know. Women ask a lot of questions because they don't know and know they don't know and it freaks them out. Being smarter comes with a lot of responsibility ladies, get used to it and be patient with your dumb men.
well, ok then, Hye...
Great Subject!
First thoughts (man thoughts, I admit):
1 - When you're getting your ass kicked you don't want your ace boon coon backup to take the time to ask - "Why are you fighting?"
2 - You don't want to have too many soul searching conversations with someone who spends a lot time scratching their crotch and thinks about sex every 5 minutes minimum.
3 - Women are just more intuitive and smarter than men when there in their element - which is mostly when they're tolerating us in their space.
4 - Women ask us why because what's going through their mind is "I fucking can't believe you just did that, or said that, or didn't see that, etc", and "Am I really in love with this pea brained idiot?", and my favorite - They already know the answer they want and are testing us!
LOL
Pops
and still, he doesn't get it
Hmm, it seems that so much stress and strife could be avoided in this world if both men and women could accept the fact that guys aren't very bright. Think about how much time that would save...
As good as you are as writer, and you're the dog's balls, why do you even have a blog? I mean, I can barely piss my name in the snow but I manage at least a post a day! You piss gold and you only write once every fucking full moon! What the fuck? I'd give Tarik's left nut for half your talent and you don't even post every other day, seriously! You are now, officially, a greedy cunt! Post already, ya fuckin' halfwit genius! I'm bored of my retard ramblings and I want to read something good.
To Hassan......What?
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I don't ask alot of questions either, I guess that's because I know better. A man for the most part is such a mystery to me. Even though certain "research" shows that you all are quite simple, I don't buy it; Not about the men I've chosen in my life anyway.
As women, we want to know that we are the soft place where you come home to land, after being out in that crazy mixed up world. And we want to know if you recognize and appreciate that.
I like to know what the man in my life likes and dislikes, but I can learn that by paying attention to the little things. I don't feel the need to hustle answers out of him with a bunch of interrogation.......
Other than that, I LOVE the mystery. It keeps me on my toes!
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