Greatest Invention Eh-verrrrrrrr

Greatest human invention? Hands down, the Metaphor. I used the tried and true relationship-is-like-a-roadtrip (tired and true?) metaphor today and had the wonderful post-metaphor moment when everyone says, "ahh, um-hmm, um-hmm", and you just know you broke through the fog and built a bridge. And look what I did just now! Even mixed metaphors are enjoyable! I love Metaphors (!):

"Hey man, look - I don't know jack about computers, so I don't understand what you're trying to lay on me about this server jazz. What? Oh, it's like central air, you say? It's like a water heater? Hey, wait, yeah that makes sense. I can dig that."

Who once said that we are metaphor machines? Whoever he/she was, find 'em and give 'em a drink on me. We are metaphor makers, we are the dreamers of dreams. Okay, I'm starting to ramble, but it breaks down like this: ideally, everyone should be able to talk to everyone. When language falters, it is image and imagination that carries on. We each have a rich storehouse of common imagery and the god-given gift of using it to make sideways leaps of logic and connection. We have the tools to break out of our own heads.

And I just think that's awesome.

But where did metaphors come from? What was the first metaphor used? It was probably about god. The oldest music, the oldest poetry, the oldest art really, is usually about god. Picture it: a farmer stands in his recently locust-blighted field surveying the damage and wondering about his place in the Universe. The village shaman ambles up, sensing that this is an important moment in his friend's spiritual development. "What is god, o wise one?" says the farmer. "Well," says the shaman, "god is like the rain..." and that simple farmer looks up at the sky and down at his fields and suddenly - click - he gets it.

Although, maybe that's where this whole god notion went off the rails. It wouldn't be the first time one of our great inventions proved to be one of our great failures. Because before god was a metaphor, god was a simile. Before "god is like the rain" came "god is the rain." In that "like" there is a loss, there is a distance. I like the notion that god Is, rather than god is only Like because we have no way of truly understanding god. The Great Unknowable is also the Truly Useless.

To be fair, as much as I may wax romantic about the simile god, it can be rather confusing. Metaphors can pile up and never collapse. God can be like a million things. How many things can god actually be. "You said god is the rain. Now you're saying god is the light. But god's also love. Dammit man, I'm a farmer, not a theologian! Tell me what god is so I can get back to growing your damn dinner!"

Ahh, metaphors. Metaphors are like that first moment you sink into a hot tub...