Sunday, September 6, 2009

While You Were Out

New York, Las Vegas, Escondido, Atlantis, Pluto, Planet Ten, The Fourth Realm: it's been a busy few weeks of traveling and it's good to be home. Some things I learned on the road:

1. The New York Public Library on 42nd Street - the one with the two lions out front - is not the place to do any serious work. You need the Manhattan Central Branch right across the street where there are no Italian tourists taking pictures of themselves in front of the card catalogs.

2. Three days of rich, starchy Vegas food + high desert temperatures + no water = serious gut troubles.

3. Armenia was the first Christian nation, not Rome. Also, when Constantine finally did declare Rome a Christian nation, he put an image of Jesus on the coins based on verbally handed down descriptions of the guy - coins which are currently sold in the antiquities store in the Venetian Hotel.

4. For any left-handed writers out there who really want to use a fountain pen but are sick of driving the nib into the paper and losing all ink flow, I suggest trying out an Oblique Medium nib. I do not, however, suggest trying this at the Mont Blanc store unless you have the money to purchase one because you will only walk away looking over your shoulder longingly with a single tear drop sliding down your cheek.

5. Express Checkout is a way for the hotel to screw you when you are in a rush to leave and aren't watching your back. Constant vigilance is required when traveling through the lands of the Sand People!

14 comments:

savannah said...

does levenger make a nib like that?

captain chaos said...

The image of the Jewish carpenter, what does it look like? Express Check In is also a bad idea, in fact, Las Vegas is a bad idea. "If there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from."

Mr. Moose said...

Sav: no such luck.

Cap'n: He still had the longish hair and beard, but - what do you know - he had a long wide nose too. I'll try and find an image of that coin, it's actually pretty interesting.

captain chaos said...

It's funny, or pathetic, but I check your blog every time I'm online and you never write anything. Well, "never" is a bit of a strong word and not at all accurate as you do, on occasion, write something. I mean, "write"?! Otherwise you'd never get any comments! Anywas, I think my new thing is going to be to leave really long and pointless comments on your tragically ignored site in the ridiculous hope that you'll get annoyed and start posting more often. Really, you're the only one that writes well so you might as well write. Right? Or should I say, "Left!"

captain chaos said...

Yes! Raiders, Vikings, and Niners all won today! That, for no good reason, makes me super happy. Ima go get some good food and drink a beer. Football night! Yeah! Rah! Why do I give a fuck? Who knows, but it's fun now and again.

captain chaos said...

You wrote a nice post for Ma. Write something here, ya hump.

captain chaos said...

Where, where the Hell is Moose?
Where, where the Hell is Moose?
Where, where the Hell is Moosel?
Where, where the Hell isMoosel?
Well, maybe he went to get a sideways haircut
Maybe he went to get a striped shirt
Maybe he went to get some plastic shoes
Maybe he went to get some funny sunglasses
Well, maybe he went to get an Air Force parka
Maybe he went to get a Vespa scooter
Maybe he went to get a British flag
Maybe he went to go Mod Ska dancing
Well, maybe he went to get a mohawk
And maybe he went to get some gnarly thrash boots
Maybe he went to go ride his skateboard
Maybe he went to see the Circle Jerks
Maybe he went to write in his blog

captain chaos said...

I saw a funny thing the other day and thought of you: a girl was wearing an inappropriately short skirt and two guys were checking her out and they ran into each other. For some reason I thought of this being the end of a story about all three of them and then thought of you. Anywhy, get bent! Write something good as I am growing tired of writing on your blog's comment section. WV: morst. Definition: Mostly the worst thing ever but not quite.

captain chaos said...

Bonjour!

captain chaos said...

Black hole Moose!

savannah said...

so the cap'n is writing comments, but not blog entries, eh? and neither of you is visiting my site. what gives?

captain chaos said...

Moose, what are you doing in room 247? Why are you making so much noise and not writing in your blog? We are all curious. We are all watching.

captain chaos said...

Thank you for not shooting me again. Once was enough. Also, thanks for not checking your blog even though I bugged you every day of this trip. Your obstinance is an inspiration to us all.

CreoleBeBop said...

I am leaving Healdsburg, CA today for San Francisco. I am seriously philosophically conflicted about biodynamic farming methods utilized to produce such oenological hedonism. I'll get back to you on this.

Pops