Monday, December 22, 2008

The Definitive Authority of the M.E.D.

As the sole and senior editor of the Mooseford English Dictionary, I feel a sense of responsibility and love towards the ever-evolving linguistic map of the alces alces herd. The guiding philosophy here at the MED has always been inclusive and descriptivist. I feel that languages should have open borders, especially English, which has always been a big pot of gumbo served round the clock at Ellis Island. Give us your weird, your wacky, your huddled words yearning to breath free. If a word is useful, let it in. If not useful, at least entertaining or amusing.

In that spirit, here are two of the latest additions to reach the home office:

1. "EYE-GRAB"

I coined this at work to describe the attribute of being eye-grabbing or eye-catching. I would have gone with "eye-catch", but that sounds like a disease. "I'm afraid you have acute macular degeneration, known in layman's terms as eye-catch". Rather, when something's got eye-grab, you can't help but look at it - you don't know why, but you can't look away. Cut to the design room, after several hours of grindingly slow progress: "What do you think about this, Moose?" "Dammit, that's got eye-grab! I say we GO with it!" Note: The use of the word 'eye-grab' works best if you're smoking, drinking whiskey, and dressed in formal clothes from the late 50s - early 60s.

2. "DUNCH"

This word was invented by my lovely wife, who wanted a word to describe a meal between lunch and dinner. The word needed to be as useful for invitational purposes as its mid-morning mirror 'brunch'. As in, "Let's meet for dunch tomorrow afternoon." We road-tested "linner", but that sounded too thin, too unsatisfying. Dunch is filling but not heavy, and easy but not quick. Dunch menus are typically lunch based but with a few dinner options thrown in. You can have the big salad or the chicken sandwich, but you might want to go for the pasta. Hey, it's dunch, it's cool - have whatever.

4 comments:

captain chaos said...

Ah, Moose. I can't even begin to describe what a pleasure it is to read your writing when you get all jiggy with the language. In the immortal words of one E. Murphy, "Ha ha! Very funny motherfucker!" Yes, very funny motherfucker indeed.

savannah said...

will there be more entries, sir? please more.

savannah said...

eargrab, dude..gotta be entered and saved for posterity!
happy new year!!!!

captain chaos said...

Knock knock! Who's there? Not Moose! That's not funny at all. Neither is being the best writer in the family and ignoring your damn blog! Also, I want my choke back, fucker! (Think Roy Battie and it makes more sense.)