Would Everybody Please Calm Down?

I'll admit it: my cell phone means very little to me. I haven't connected to it, I don't relate to it, it is not a part of me, and to be honest, I kind of resent it. So every so often, my cellphone and I are separated because I forget to take it with me. Everyone is always surprised by my utter my lack of concern. When I don't freak out and immediately stop what I'm doing to go and retrieve my phone, they are stunned at first. Then worried. No one more so than my father-in-law.

When he discovered that I left it at home (again), he proceeded to give me a ten minute lecture (which I think he had practiced) on the dangers of being without a cellphone. "What will you do in an emergency?!" he challenged. I don't know, maybe use another phone? LIKE WE ALL USED TO DO BEFORE CELLPHONES WERE INVENTED!!!!!!! Sorry for shouting, but does the presence of a portable phone always mean the difference between life and death? My father-in-law is over seventy years old, surely he has not survived this long on sheer luck and the vicissitudes of landlines.

Let's all take a deep breath and step away from the technology for a few minutes. Take your phone out of that dorky holster on your belt, take the earpiece off your head if you're not actually on a call, and let's all calm down. There was a time when people sent letters to each other and did not expect a response for two months. While they were waiting they did things like discover electricity and invent calculus. So I think I will be okay without my phone for a day or two.