The Search For Alternative Energy Continues

Moose: I'm sick of this truck. It drinks gas and it's killing the environment.

Jeff: Yeah, it's like you're driving down the street saying, "Fuck the environment! Horsepower!"

Moose: I need a hybrid or something. Biodiesel. Green energy.

Jeff: You should ride a bike. That's better than green energy.

Moose: No, I should ride a horse. That's better than biodiesel.

Jeff: What if I rode an ostrich? Just rode down the street on an ostrich. Like, "You got a problem? This bird will peck your fucking eyes out."

Moose: See, that's practical.It's also a low carbon footprint. Unless of course the food you feed the ostriches has to be imported.

Jeff: No, I would just have a whole garage full of 'em. Just ride them until they die and then get on another one.

Moose: Then we could feed them to my horses.

Jeff: Would a horse eat an ostrich?

Moose: I don't know. I could ride elephants. I'm sure they'd eat an ostrich.

Jeff: Yeah. Elephants don't give a fuck about anything.

No, I Don't Know Why Either

"Guinea pigs are social animals who prefer to live in small groups. If you keep two or more females together, they will become great friends."

That's from the ASPCA website. It just made me chuckle.