Friday, September 19, 2008
As My Mother Always Said...
...sometimes only a video will do. So THIS is my theme song these days. Hallelujah!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Ex Nihilo
"I don't think I could live in another country," she said with a laugh.
"M'lady, you can," said the waiter, "it takes a special kind of person to live anywhere."
The table looked up at him in one unified movement, shaken out of their appetizer-induced trance.
"Did you see the news today? About this experiment in Switzerland?" asked the waiter in a soft, clipped Arabian accent.
"The super-collider? They said it would create a black hole!" said the man on the end. Bits of endive shot out of his mouth as he laughed.
"I do not think in those terms," said the waiter, "But it reminded me that we create something out of nothing. Can you imagine? Man is going to create matter."
The table was silent with imagination and confusion. Forks dug slowly and silently under chunks of fish, lifting food to mouth as unobtrusively as possible. The waiters eyes saw distant nebulae crashing and burning with life.
"It is like my own story. I am Palestinian. From Israel. I live here now. Something from nothing is entirely possible." The waiter smiled down at the diners.
"How long since you went home?" asked the old man in the middle of the table.
"1989," said the waiter, "I have two sisters there. I bother them when I can. My brother lives in the San Fernando Valley."
"Oh. That's so...", said the woman to the waiter's left. He lifted a hand, palm out.
"M'lady, I will tell you this. I think of a line from a tenth century Egyptian poet, who said, 'I am the desert, the sword, the paper, and the pen.' "
With a short, quick bow, the waiter disappeared.
"M'lady, you can," said the waiter, "it takes a special kind of person to live anywhere."
The table looked up at him in one unified movement, shaken out of their appetizer-induced trance.
"Did you see the news today? About this experiment in Switzerland?" asked the waiter in a soft, clipped Arabian accent.
"The super-collider? They said it would create a black hole!" said the man on the end. Bits of endive shot out of his mouth as he laughed.
"I do not think in those terms," said the waiter, "But it reminded me that we create something out of nothing. Can you imagine? Man is going to create matter."
The table was silent with imagination and confusion. Forks dug slowly and silently under chunks of fish, lifting food to mouth as unobtrusively as possible. The waiters eyes saw distant nebulae crashing and burning with life.
"It is like my own story. I am Palestinian. From Israel. I live here now. Something from nothing is entirely possible." The waiter smiled down at the diners.
"How long since you went home?" asked the old man in the middle of the table.
"1989," said the waiter, "I have two sisters there. I bother them when I can. My brother lives in the San Fernando Valley."
"Oh. That's so...", said the woman to the waiter's left. He lifted a hand, palm out.
"M'lady, I will tell you this. I think of a line from a tenth century Egyptian poet, who said, 'I am the desert, the sword, the paper, and the pen.' "
With a short, quick bow, the waiter disappeared.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Let's Make Litter Outta These Literati!
"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.”
Six, eh? Let's see how the Moose sizes up...
And so here’s the list, complete with the following instructions:
* Look at the list and embolden those you have read.
* Italicise those you intend to read.
* Underline the books you LOVE.
* Reprint this list in your own blog.
1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (Why is this here??? Hell, I've read it though, so...)
6. The Bible (Jesus rocks!)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (the best catch there is)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (Complete? No. Best? Probably.)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (Good first line. Good sign)
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot (One day I'll read it and make my sister proud)
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens (So far, I'm waaay behind on my Dickens)
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (As Le Guin said, if you haven't read this - why not?)
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (This Dickens fellow was busy)
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (Not gonna happen)
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (Why this but not Dickens? Shut up! That's why)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving (Again: why is this everyone's favorite book?)
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy (I find crowds madding too)
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (This is the one about wizards and muggles, right?)
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - I was going to read this but didn't (Picnic.Lightening.)
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (the best cristo there is)
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac (don't believe the hype)
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (no more my maddened hand and splintered heart are set against this wolfish world...and something about whaling, etc.)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (More Dickens? Seriously, there's only so much time in the day)
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce (I've heard it's not as hard as it sounds)
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (Started then stopped. Made me want to stick my head in the oven.)
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (Could you please. Stop. The Goddamn. Hammering!)
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert (I didn't read this but I did smuggle it into the States in my bloomers)
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Not to shabby. But I think Dickens is related to the person who made this list.
Six, eh? Let's see how the Moose sizes up...
And so here’s the list, complete with the following instructions:
* Look at the list and embolden those you have read.
* Italicise those you intend to read.
* Underline the books you LOVE.
* Reprint this list in your own blog.
1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (Why is this here??? Hell, I've read it though, so...)
6. The Bible (Jesus rocks!)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (the best catch there is)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (Complete? No. Best? Probably.)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (Good first line. Good sign)
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot (One day I'll read it and make my sister proud)
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens (So far, I'm waaay behind on my Dickens)
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (As Le Guin said, if you haven't read this - why not?)
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (This Dickens fellow was busy)
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (Not gonna happen)
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (Why this but not Dickens? Shut up! That's why)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving (Again: why is this everyone's favorite book?)
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy (I find crowds madding too)
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (This is the one about wizards and muggles, right?)
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - I was going to read this but didn't (Picnic.Lightening.)
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (the best cristo there is)
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac (don't believe the hype)
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (no more my maddened hand and splintered heart are set against this wolfish world...and something about whaling, etc.)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (More Dickens? Seriously, there's only so much time in the day)
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce (I've heard it's not as hard as it sounds)
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (Started then stopped. Made me want to stick my head in the oven.)
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (Could you please. Stop. The Goddamn. Hammering!)
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert (I didn't read this but I did smuggle it into the States in my bloomers)
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Not to shabby. But I think Dickens is related to the person who made this list.
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