Hooray!

Hooray for me! It's 3:00 in the morning (well, three o'clock at night, come on now) and I can't sleep! Hooray!

Okay, this time I'm going to see insomnia as a gift. A gift from the gods of sleep and wakefulness, bestowed upon me that I might come closer to cracking the code of night.

What?

I'm not going to waste this precious gift of extended consciousness by watching television or reading some book I won't really digest.

I'm going to feed this blog, so that it will grow up big and strong. I'm going to take out my pen and write a letter. I'm going to finally switch the beds (don't ask).

Rumi says that in the middle of the night we are closest to God.

(Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.)

Always

There are always more movies to watch.
There are always more books to read.
There is always more work to do.
There is always someone leaving.
There is always someone arriving.
There is always someone I haven't spoken to.
There is always another mile to run.
There is always a pad.
There is always a bad joke to make.
There is always something I wish I hadn't said.
There is always something I wish I had said.
There is always a decision to make.
There is always a mistake to make.
There is always a victory to claim.
There is always a way to show love.
There is always someone who said it better.
There is always another smile.
There are always more tears.
There is always another lesson to learn.

There is always always always.
And it is always alright.

The Happy Virus

Why isn't there a Happy Virus? Someone coming back from Mexico or Bali brings a case of acute happiness with them and when they get off the plane they sneeze on someone else and that person gets dangerously happy within a matter of hours. Is that too much to ask? Or maybe somebody is really good at balancing their checkbook and they cough on me and the next day I'm really good at balancing my checkbook. Although that virus has probably mutated already and the new strain would make me a whiz with Quicken. But the point is, why do all these viruses have to be such assholes? Where can I catch the Motivation Flu? Where can I contract Sever Acute Realization Syndrome (first symptom: everything makes perfect sense)? I'd even settle for a flu which makes my hair grow back or a flu which only attacks the fatty deposits on the sides of my stomach ("aggressive lovehandlia depletion syndrome"). But no, I have to settle for Swine Flu. Swine Flu! Even the name is insulting. Not Porcine Flu, which sounds kind of classy, but Swine. Everything about these viruses is annoying. Also, viruses attack and kill their hosts. How rude is that? You come into my home, slap me around, eat all my food, and then you kill me and burn the house down? Why would you do that? I was going to make espresso....

I Dreamt I Was Living In Scandinavia

Interview With a Vampire, Part 1

For this interview, Alcohol and I met at a local coffeehouse. He was twenty minutes late and came stumbling in, apologizing and waving his hands about. When he sat down across from me, the couple sitting behind us wrinkled their noses and moved to a different table.

Mr Moose: Long time, Al. How are you?
Alcohol: Pretty good, pretty good. You know me. Always busy...having a good time!
MM: I'm not going to give you a high-five, if that's what your waiting for.
Al: Okay, okay, that's cool. I get it. Mr Respectable now.
MM: If you say so. You look uncomfortable.
Al: It's this place. Coffee and I aren't such good terms these days. She's changed.
MM: Sorry to hear that. Do you want some of my tea?
Al: Tea?! Don't get me started on that motherfucker!
MM: Forget I asked.
Al: So it's great to see you again and all, but what's up? You haven't called me in five years. Want to hang out again?
MM: No. I just-
Al: Jesus. You didn't even have to think about it, did you? Were things that bad between us?
MM: Well, I suppose you don't remember, but it didn't end well.
Al: Yeah, my memory is kinda fuzzy sometimes. I remember lots of late nights, crazy conversations, dancing like a madman, laughing like a hyena. We had fun, man.
MM: Sure, we did. Right up until the point when I threw up, said something stupid or inappropriate, or just blacked out.
Al: Hey, I live a crazy life. I don't make any apologies for it.
MM: I know. I'm not blaming you. I just don't want a crazy life anymore. I'm not twenty-five. The idea has lost its romance, if you know what I mean.
Al: I get it. You want to be boring.
MM: Boring? What's more predictable and boring than getting drunk, having the same conversations over and over, getting the same hangover, and always feeling like shit?
Al: Your problem is, you never truly appreciated me.
MM: No, I didn't. That's true. I used you.
Al: You did. But I get that a lot.

The Epistolary Burden

Cocooned in my busy life, I seldom see my friends. They're all within ten miles of me, but it doesn't matter. Add to that list the friends scattered across the country and the globe and there is an entire company of people I don't see. But wait! There's no need to worry, I'll just shoot a couple lines of email at them, surely I have time for that. Oddly, no, I don't. (But I have time to write this pointless blog entry?)

That parenthetical is actually the point. And the point is: priorities. I have not made my friends a priority and for that I am sorry. I miss them. My life is less without my friends. I catch glimpses of what they are up to on Facelook, I a get melancholy and wistful. It feels like I'm watching some grand party on the other side of the park. This must end.

Think of this then, not as a confession, but as a resolution.

I'll be in touch.

Where Have I Been You Ask? Well...

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.