"It is what it is":
What incredibly vapid, stupid and unoriginal people say when they cannot construct a proper thought, retort or sentence.
-Urban Dictionary
Why has this phrase fallen so far out of favor? And why is it considered something "stupid" people say?
Let's take these one at a time. It has fallen out of favor because it sounds dismissive and escapist. I think the critics are hearing it but not listening to what it means. It is about accepting reality as it is; surrendering to reality instead of resisting it. It is a simple and profound zen statement on the nature of existence: you cannot fight the truth, no matter how much you want to, because you only make your life harder if you do. Reality will not change to suit you. You will struggle fruitlessly until you accept life on life's terms.
It is considered something "stupid" people say because people ignore the rich history of this phrase. It is not one of those recent, oft-repeated, meaningless phrases (like everyone's favorite whipping-boy "At the end of the day..."). For example, I often heard this phrase in my youth from the mouth of many a wise old(er) black man. When I whined and whinged about the unfairness of the world, someone would smile, put a hand on my shoulder and say gently, "It is what it is, man". What I heard was: accept it, deal with it, and move on. An older generation may have told each other, "You can't fight City Hall", while a younger, less serious, generation might say, "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown" - but the message is the same essential wisdom. Fight reality and reality will win, every time.
So what is one to do? Don't spend your energy worrying about/trying to change/stressing over things that are outside of your control. Focus on what you can change: yourself. This in turn will change the world. When life seems unfair, take a breath, relax, and remember: IT IS WHAT IT IS.
-Urban Dictionary
Why has this phrase fallen so far out of favor? And why is it considered something "stupid" people say?
Let's take these one at a time. It has fallen out of favor because it sounds dismissive and escapist. I think the critics are hearing it but not listening to what it means. It is about accepting reality as it is; surrendering to reality instead of resisting it. It is a simple and profound zen statement on the nature of existence: you cannot fight the truth, no matter how much you want to, because you only make your life harder if you do. Reality will not change to suit you. You will struggle fruitlessly until you accept life on life's terms.
It is considered something "stupid" people say because people ignore the rich history of this phrase. It is not one of those recent, oft-repeated, meaningless phrases (like everyone's favorite whipping-boy "At the end of the day..."). For example, I often heard this phrase in my youth from the mouth of many a wise old(er) black man. When I whined and whinged about the unfairness of the world, someone would smile, put a hand on my shoulder and say gently, "It is what it is, man". What I heard was: accept it, deal with it, and move on. An older generation may have told each other, "You can't fight City Hall", while a younger, less serious, generation might say, "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown" - but the message is the same essential wisdom. Fight reality and reality will win, every time.
So what is one to do? Don't spend your energy worrying about/trying to change/stressing over things that are outside of your control. Focus on what you can change: yourself. This in turn will change the world. When life seems unfair, take a breath, relax, and remember: IT IS WHAT IT IS.
9 comments:
this is PERFECT for today! especially in light of the email i sent out earlier! xoxox
amen, brother.
(Savannah sent me and I'm glad she did.)
She sent me too....and I AGREE!
Ironic that a simple phrase which so succinctly sums up life is somehow insulting to those who believe their IQs are higher than the rest of the worlds.
Last time I checked, Common Sense wasn't on the IQ points chart. ;)
Your Ma raised a wise man. I am glad to be her friend. :¬)
i was referred by savannah too. I dont know - i admit i am a person who has gotten sick of the phrase, and though i agree with your assessment of what the actual words say, and usually mean, its looks like a lot of people really dont consider it as anything other than a slightly more polite and complex thought than "whatever". I am not offended by the expression, though.
Hey honey.
Over the 18 months, that phrase became my mantra. Might be trite and over-used, but actually very accurate.
Amen, and please pass the dictionary.
I'm with you and I think :
'Focus on what you can change: yourself.'
is the really important part.
I'm over from your Mum's. Have a good weekend.
(Read this like Ice Cube in Friday): Yessss.
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