Saturday, November 21, 2009
Bah Humbug: A Pre-emptive Christmas Strike
I had to leave the laundromat this morning before the towels were even dry because some rat-bastard left the radio tuned to the all Christmas music station and I just couldn't take it any more. The worst part is that living in this country you can't help but know all the Christmas songs and when they come on part of your brain sings along and you hate yourself for it. It's like the Bible verses you know even though you're not a Christian and never go to church. Some of the verses aren't bad and are even worth knowing but all those Christmas songs are a plague upon mankind.
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5 comments:
so, now you know my personal hell! except, of course, the tunes are hummed in that passive/aggressive old lady vibrato that eats away at your ear canal and penetrates your brain like a mole tunneling with it sharp little claws....until you want to scream aarrrrgggghhh
My god, what a painful metaphor. I like it.
My favorite lyric - A partridge in a pear tree. 12 ga to shoulder, cheek down on the stock, aim.....
And maybe even get some fruit compote Christmas stuffing with the bird in one shot!
In the words of one Lee Ving, "Fuck Christmas! Fuck Christmas!" Simple and perfect.
great now I'm singing Bible verses to Christmas tunes.
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