Interview With a Vampire, Part 1

For this interview, Alcohol and I met at a local coffeehouse. He was twenty minutes late and came stumbling in, apologizing and waving his hands about. When he sat down across from me, the couple sitting behind us wrinkled their noses and moved to a different table.

Mr Moose: Long time, Al. How are you?
Alcohol: Pretty good, pretty good. You know me. Always busy...having a good time!
MM: I'm not going to give you a high-five, if that's what your waiting for.
Al: Okay, okay, that's cool. I get it. Mr Respectable now.
MM: If you say so. You look uncomfortable.
Al: It's this place. Coffee and I aren't such good terms these days. She's changed.
MM: Sorry to hear that. Do you want some of my tea?
Al: Tea?! Don't get me started on that motherfucker!
MM: Forget I asked.
Al: So it's great to see you again and all, but what's up? You haven't called me in five years. Want to hang out again?
MM: No. I just-
Al: Jesus. You didn't even have to think about it, did you? Were things that bad between us?
MM: Well, I suppose you don't remember, but it didn't end well.
Al: Yeah, my memory is kinda fuzzy sometimes. I remember lots of late nights, crazy conversations, dancing like a madman, laughing like a hyena. We had fun, man.
MM: Sure, we did. Right up until the point when I threw up, said something stupid or inappropriate, or just blacked out.
Al: Hey, I live a crazy life. I don't make any apologies for it.
MM: I know. I'm not blaming you. I just don't want a crazy life anymore. I'm not twenty-five. The idea has lost its romance, if you know what I mean.
Al: I get it. You want to be boring.
MM: Boring? What's more predictable and boring than getting drunk, having the same conversations over and over, getting the same hangover, and always feeling like shit?
Al: Your problem is, you never truly appreciated me.
MM: No, I didn't. That's true. I used you.
Al: You did. But I get that a lot.